Sunday, 18 February 2018

My Tuna Fish

Have you ever lived that moment when you are already in the train, and you know you will be late anyway, but you are still worried? The same way you are in my life and I am in a state of vulnerability of losing you. I don’t know how to say this to you, but now I might say this that I have nothing to lose. I have already lost everything. If you are reading this you might already know that I am literally broken from inside. You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I list myself in loving you. There was a time when I used to see my whole life with you, but you shattered my dreams. I have never given so much to someone or cared so much.


Remember the first time when we met, I was driven by your ambition, discipline and your black kurti and a cute little bindi. Slowly and steadily, I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me or rather us. I don't know why destiny brought us together as we are completely opposite to each other, you are completely a giggly, cute, sundar and good chef kind of a person which you mention always.
I had everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than this. but It’s okay to retreat someone sometimes. Because a creative life is scary as hell. It takes a lot out of us.
But you returned my love with lies. It does not matter how handsome I look for you or what all I have done for you. I never told you but I did received messages and people saying that you are not worth and you are cheating on me. I decided to ignore it and trust you. No other man will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I do.
All I wanted was love, care and affection that I have for you and wanted the same in return. I always wished the best for you. You never appreciated my love, no self esteem left. You are a very practical person, and I do understand, money is important in everyone’s life, but what will you do by earning so much when you will not have anyone to talk too.

4 comments:

  1. Why is it that people feel more secure expressing this way....by being anonymous in a sea

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  2. I don't know what to say Shreya. But I can completely relate to this.and completely means completely. I don't know should I say thanks to you to give such beautiful words to this feeling or just read it and think why this happened in my life.
    But I am touched and this is the heart what you say.

    ReplyDelete

About

I want to do it all.. I also want to do absolutely nothing!!

I am still discovering who I am, but at twenty I still have plenty of time for discovering, don’t you think?

Blogging is that passion that lit a spark on that dream of mine which made a place where I could share myself with others but sooner or later I realized that my real dream was helping others be heard by lending them a voice. Discipline is the art which I want to master. I feel myself like a Taxi Driver who is completely absurd regarding her destination yet retaining my “INNOCENCE”.